the sisters I hope they are.

I truly hope with my whole heart that I give these girls a relationship as sisters that will be timeless and cherished forever. If anything and in everything that I could possibly teach them - I truly pray for this one relationship to be the strongest in their lives. 

I have hope for the strongest future for them because they have each other.

And I get to watch it happen.

"My question was the attention I gave to them,

and their response was their beauty."

friday reading time: march 13th

Dear Mom on the iPhone, it's ok. ---> Fried Okra

what I love about this: "Why does a simple piece of technology give a stranger license to accuse you of being a selfish, too-busy, disengaged woman who's threatening her children's self-esteem and self worth? We both know that's not who you are."

Confessions of a cloth diaper drop out ---> simple kids
what I love about this: "I’m a big believer in using cloth diapers, but I’m even more committed to moms and dads doing what they need to do to keep from being overwhelmed. Parenting is hard enough."

Being brave enough to be un-fine ---> Lisa-Jo Baker
what I love about this: "And I’ve lived enough broken and loved enough friends through their own cracks to know that redeemed is not the same as fixed and that holes can still ache even when we’re whole again."

When You're Expected to "Pull it Together" ---> (in)courage
what I love about this: "In the moments when torment throbs deep, God doesn’t bark 'stiffen that upper lip, girl.' He instead whispers 'come to me dear one, come to me.' "

the mother they need is the mother you are ---> steady mom
what I love about this: "The revelation is this: the mother my kids need is the mother I am."

photo by dolfi

my sentimental mom

My mom is a sentimental kind of women.

She loves researching our family tree and tracking it back generations to generations.

She loves flowers and little trinkets and things that make you think of her.

She loves to remember precisely what the one thing was that you said you wanted a whole year before your birthday even comes. You forgot you even wanted it.

She loves to take walks with her grandkids, and read them books, and show them pictures of herself at their age, and tell them all about her childhood.

She loves to run marathons through all of the major cities in our country and put her medals in a special place where she can always see where she has been.

She loves to bike through Italy and see the beautiful landscapes and to make friendships that are life-long.

She loves learning more about her history and her family's history and see all of the sites they may have seen.

I'm nearly the opposite of all of that. But I appreciate and love her for these things all the more.

I get the opportunity to be an innocent bystander in her love parade with history and facts and lovely stories of her grandmother's kitchen and of Puerto Rico.

I get to learn from her hands that have been so many places and done so many things and worked so damn hard.

I get to learn from the wisdom that only comes with time and hard work and dedication to family and friends and work and play.

I get to witness her as a wife. And what an inspiration it is to see her love and affection within their marriage. And they get to show my children and be an inspiration to them.

Four generations of amazing women.

I am so grateful.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

we headed for the 'frisco bay

My brother is probably one of the sweetest guys I know, and not just because he's my brother (I swear). So for his beautiful wifey's birthday this year, he decided to surprise her with a girl's trip to San Francisco with me! It was such an incredible treat for me to have my first weekend away from both girls with such an amazing women as my sister-in-law Susie. I always wanted a sister, so having her in my life and be as close as she is to me is an immense blessing. I decided to document our journey so we could remember it always :)

Susie decided to pack her bags for a stay in Africa for a few months, compared to my measly little bag that looked like a midget next to hers. 

I hate flying more than most, so this was my attempt to be cheerful when I really feel like throwing up :)

We, of course, had to shop our little hearts away. We did the Union Square thing (huge H&M, huge Forever 21, huge Macy's, huge mall, etc etc), but we also wanted to head over to Fillmore street shops. There were some awesome boutiques there that are really rare and have awesome vibes and awesome people. We walked our little tushies off there - the hills were ginormous and killer on my feet and butt. Overall, it was incredible.

I've deduced that every person in San Francisco is a model.

Also, you have to be 120 lbs or less to hang out there.

Also, you have to love scarfs and yoga pants.

Susie looking gorgeous!

Breakfast is my all-time favorite meal, so we had to find a yummy place to eat. Pretty much every where we ate was within 0.6 miles of our hotel. It was so awesome that my bro did some great research to put us in the center of the city! The best places we ate in were the hole-in-the-wall mom and pop shops. It was the greatest.

This was the coolest shot I got, as well as the coolest book ever. It is a notepad with all of this incredible quotes on them... and I plan on writing letters to the girls, tearing out the pages and making them their own little books of letters from me.

Overall, this was one vacation for the record books. Loved every moment.

roller coasters and all

I know, I know. It's been forever.

I've been busy. I guess? Kind of busy. Not too busy, not too sitting still. Just the right kind of busy.

Right this minute I have one child on top of me eating Pirate's Booty and the other child is taking pictures of my nostrils with my iPhone.

'tis the life.

My heart has been going through a roller coaster of emotions. We have close friends that just lost their sweet baby girl after three hours of her life. We have celebrated birthdays, we have seen Michael's niece win the state championship at St. Mary's high school, we have watched Lia in her very first dance class, we have had friends losing and getting jobs, we have celebrated births and joys with families and friends.

We have danced, we have cried, we have laughed, we have struggled, we have begged for the grace to make it. We somehow make it when it seems impossible.

It's a constant - the consistency of inconsistency. I'm grateful for incredible family and community that I can call and say "you've experienced this before, right?? I'll make it, right??"

I am beyond blessed. I've been given support beyond measure. I've been given a family that unconditionally listens to my complaints and gripes and tells me it's all good, it'll be okay, we will not only survive, we will be stronger for having the hard times, and the good times are oh so much sweeter.

I'm rambling. But life is sweet. I'm so filled with joy that far surpasses my look of happiness. I know His joy is in my soul, and that truth is the most golden truth I could have.

But I got to pick up my camera today and shoot some photos of my fun and amazing girls. Lia was cracking up out there. And her joy is beyond beautiful.

"I was here. I lived, I loved."

Why I Choose to Cloth Diaper

My mom cringed the moment I told her that I wanted to cloth diaper. 

“Cloth diaper??? I still have nightmares about dunking and swishing cloth diapers in the toilet. Please tell me you’re joking. I’ll pay for disposables for you, are you THAT short on cash?” 

I smiled politely and said “Even if I had all the money in the world, I would cloth diaper my children.” 

I must be crazy.

Check out the rest of my guest post over at Hip Moms Go Green, all about why I chose to cloth diaper, and continue to choose it every day. Let me know what you think :)

friday reading time: november 2nd

10 things I've learned in 10 years of marriage ---> simple mom

what I love about this: "It's hard. Choosing to listen and hold your tongue; asking questions when you’re dying to share your brilliant advice. Sharing frustrations instead of letting them fester. Rubbing his back when you’d rather have yours rubbed first."

How a singer balances travel and family ---> simple mom
what I love about this: "'How do you do it?' Behind the question are legitimate concerns about a father not being there for his kids’ soccer games, a wife worn out from raising four children alone, a marriage losing heat from too many days and nights spent miles apart."

When You Need A Steady Stream of Confidence Today ---> (in)courage
what I love about this: "Today, we are already complete. We are worthy enough and talented enough and just plain enough."

When the storms come, keep writing ---> the gypsy mama
what I love about this: "They eat their tacos and I turn to the story of a flood that could shame even this one... The days of darkness and fear and frustration. Why hadn’t I paid that part attention before."

It's Easy to Love People ---> The Handwritten
what I love about this: "I'm tired of easy."

photo courtesy of Krystle.M

party time!

I've been going a little crazy thinking about Lia's third birthday party. Three!! Crazy, crazy. Beyond crazy.

My little baby girl is about to be THREE.

So, for the first time EVER, I'm actually motivated to have a cute and awesome birthday party. Before, I was more go-with-the-flow, and didn't really care to party plan. But I'm motivated! And I have money - for like the first time ever! (The job, remember?)

So, since her birthday is in December, and most parts of the country are having colder weather, I figured I'd bring some cold-air-feelings into our home!

My pinboard on Pinterest for her birthday is bonkers cute, so I'm hoping that her party will be even an ounce of that cuteness.

So I'm thinking snowflakes and balloons. Do those even go together?! Who knows, but I'm going to try to make it work!

This picture is what I'm really wanting to do with some red (and teal?) balloons with the snowflakes falling from the ceiling:

Source: ohhappyday.com via Jenna on Pinterest

I'm also incredibly inspired by these adorable mason jars with cute signage! I'm trying to think of something else besides "cheers" to possibly put there.

Source: etsy.com via Jenna on Pinterest

So, I've needed some creative juice to come into my system (those are extremely hard to find in case you don't know me that well). I tried to make some prints to put on the display table or as centerpieces... I need to find some more cute quotes for parties/snowflakes/or balloons.

I need to keep searching! Although sometimes I get so caught up in inspiration, I forget to turn my thoughts into action... Jeez the thoughts never end ;)

"partypartypartypartypartypartyparty" ~my brain

gazing out the window.

These two together make everything perfect. I can't begin to explain how grateful I am that they get to have each other through this beautiful and messy thing called life. 

I know they won't remember these moments, but I always will.

photo by lia

I love that on the days when I'm not reaching for my camera, and I'm seemingly filling my schedule with busy-ness, Lia forces me to sit and be still with my eyes totally focused on her because she's holding my huge camera and trying to snap photos. It's the cutest thing ever. And it's in those moments that I'm paying the most attention to her, completely and utterly zoned in to her every move.

I edited a few of the photos she snapped, and I kind of love how they turned out. I hope she turns into one hell of a photographer one day - if for nothing else, to capture the love of the world around her.

"we do not remember days. we remember moments."

sisters

I love every single moment I get to be with these girls. I was staring at Lia as she was falling asleep today, and it struck me so intensely - I get to be hers as much as she gets to be mine, for this small amount of time, we get to love on each other. We have the opportunity to be love to each other in this world, in our moments of frailty, in our moments of loneliness or sadness or fear. I was given that opportunity, and I am beyond words grateful for that.

I hope their first memories of Michael, of me, of our family as a whole, are beautiful memories of love, kisses, hugs, laughter, singing and dancing. Jeez I hope I'm doing a good job. The fear - but how driven I am by that fear, that all I ever want is them to feel loved.

some sloppy kisses, the best.

"yes i'll walk in time with you, old friend."

life according to Siena

Sometimes life is like climbing in between some chairs. You have a destination in mind, and no matter how many people tell you that there is another (easier) way, you say to hell with them! and go your own way...

You plan your course of action...

You set about your way...

You get stuck and all confused...

Then some friends come over to assist you, encourage you, and love you.

You get lost in thought...

and thought...

and thought.

Until you've cleared the hardest hurdles...

Only to find your damn foot is stuck.

But alas, you survive, and you make it through, and life is always better with a good glass of cold milk.

Oh, and life is also always better with Lia around...

I love these girls.

siena, siena, siena.

Well, my little one turned one. Siena girl is now a ONE YEAR OLD. Insanity, I tell you! She brings me so much joy it is literally unbelievable. I don't understand what God did when He made her - she is all the goodness wrapped up in one adorable beautiful loving and sweet baby. It's really amazing. There is just something special.

Sadly, I worked on Siena's actual birthday. MAJOR sad. It was so horrible... so the day before, we tried to have some special family time (on "mama and dada's bed"), and tried to soak up all of our love together. Michael and I are some blessed parents to have these two wonderful girls.

Here's dad loving on his babies: 

So, her birthday was on a Thursday, and I also worked Friday. So Saturday and Sunday (and Monday and Tuesday) were ALL about Siena. We sang to her pretty much for two days straight, simply because Lia LOVES the happy birthday song. And Siena just looks up and smiles. Ugh.

On Saturday, Michael's family came over to love on our special girl. Here are ALL the cousins together - I know, I know, the two girls aren't even looking at the camera. But this is shot 25. I'm pretty sure everyone was restless, and seriously, I can't get either of those girls to ever look at me.

Then, of course, we moved on to cake. I got the cake from Whole Foods and it was super yummy... and Annette, Michael's mom did the honors or writing on the cake and decorating it with sprinkles. It was so cute.

"hold up, hold up, what's going on here?" and then there's Lia. That girl has a set of grills :D

We had such an awesome time having breakfast with Michael's family, and were so blessed to be able to do it again with my family the next day! It was so much fun. 

Grandpa had to take his honorary "mouth full of cake" photo with Siena since he did it with Lia. I have that photo on my old computer, so I have to find it and put the two together!

Lia with her most favorite Pablo! Yes, she looks like she's choking him but he ended up okay :)

mmmm gluten free cupcakes - my favorite! ;) 

I mean, isn't he the cutest?! 

I simply can't handle the love that Siena and Lia share - it's so surprising every time a special moment like this happens - not because it happens infrequently - but because I don't understand how they already love another person (who isn't their parent) as much as they do.

I've been trying to teach her how to pose :) Now, we just need to get her looking NEAR the camera.

Then on Tuesday we headed to the nearby splash pad for some good ole splashing time with friends. Siena is one lucky girl to have as many lovely people in her life.

As a recap - we love Siena. The End.

Head over to my current blog at A Mama Collective: